26 June, 2012

I had my final chemo exactly two weeks ago; praise the Lord!!  I spent a week feeling nauseated and fatigued, and then, as usual, started to feel better but became neutropenic.  My mom gave me one shot a day for four days, which bumped my white blood cell count back up to normal.  I'm hoping and praying that was the last time I'll have to endure those painful shots!  In about a month, I'll have a PET scan and two CT scans to check that the chemo really did work and to see if I am now cancer free!  In the meantime, I should continue to feel better and better.

And I already am feeling a lot better!  I get tired out pretty easily, but, because I've been cooped up inside for the past four months, I've been trying to keep busy regardless.  I was able to go to our church's get-together at the beach last week.  I spent a beautiful day at Balboa Park for my Dad's birthday.  I've also been able to hang out with several friends.  I went to my best friend Katy's birthday party, had dinner with my fourth-grade-best-friend Becca, and had coffee with a friend named Rachel, who I haven't seen in a few years.  I'm extremely happy to be able to have a social life again!

Now that my chemotherapy is over, many people have been asking me what I plan on doing next.  Before I got diagnosed with cancer, my plan was to begin grad school this fall.  I was all set to enter the Peace and Justice Studies Master's program at the University of San Diego, but now that the time has come, I know I am not physically or mentally prepared to start grad school.  So I deferred my acceptance for a year with the intention of beginning the program in the fall of 2013.  However, my recent experience has made me wonder if I might want to pursue a different career path.  I've been looking into a joint Master's of Social Work/Master's of Public Health program at San Diego State University and thought of possibly going into Oncology Social Work or pursuing something related to public health.  I plan on applying to the program early next year, and making a decision about what program I actually will do when the time comes to decide.  If there's anything these past four months have taught me, it's to take things one day at a time.  Our own plans are unreliable because we are not in charge of life; God is.  James 4:13-15 says,
Look here, you who say, "today or tomorrow we are going to a certain city, will spend a year there, carry on business, and make money."  How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow?  Your life is like the morning fog -- it's here a little while, then it's gone.  What you ought to say is, 'If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.
I can safely say that this year has been absolutely nothing like I planned it.  I'm going to attempt to live my life in the way these verses suggest, not making certain plans, but leaving my life open to the possibilities that God may have planned for me.  So maybe I'll go to grad school in a year, but I'm not positive.  I have several ideas of things I want to do in this next year, but am trying to remember that nothing is certain.

I'm leaving for Oregon on friday and will spend a week there with several of my college friends.  We are also planning on taking a family vacation at the end of August.  Besides those two trips, I have no plans set in stone.  I know I need to get a job and think it might be fun to be a barista for a while.  I also would love to travel this next year if it's a possibility at all -- and if God wills it.  I've been feeling a lot better, but definitely don't feel healthy.  So for now, I will simply take things once day at a time, focus on trying to become as healthy as possible, and see where God takes me.


"Every day of my life was recorded in Your book.  
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."  
-Psalm 139:16


  1. YYYEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! im so happeeeeeeeyy!!!!

  2. We will be praying for the best possible result from your scans! I am so grateful for the unique and valuable perspective you have gained and shared with the world through this process. I know no matter which paths the Lord leads you down, you will bring light and life with you wherever you go! LOVE YOU!