it is well with my soul

I felt really well this week, which is such a blessing!  I had my blood checked on Monday and was neutropenic again, so I had to get neupogen shots every day.  But besides the stinging of the neupogen, I've felt pretty good!  My brother Kevin came down to visit on Thursday.  It's always great to have him home so I'm not just home alone all the time.  He took me to the lake and the movies, and on Saturday morning, we took our parents out to brunch at a little French cafe for their 34th wedding anniversary (happy anniversary Mom and Dad! We love you!).

Happy Anniversary!

At Bleu Boheme for brunch

So I've reached a fork in the road.  On Tuesday, I will have my fourth dose of chemotherapy.  Then I need to decide if I want to continue with two more months of chemo or have radiation therapy instead.  On Thursday, my parents and I met with the radiology oncologist to discuss the pros and cons of having radiation.  The good thing about radiation is that it will give me a slightly smaller chance of having a recurrence of Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  Also, the short term side effects are much less than with chemotherapy.  I would probably be fatigued, have dry mouth, and have skin irritation similar to a sunburn in the area that is getting treated (my neck and chest).  Compared to chemo, that's not bad at all!  However, the long term side effects of radiation are much worse.  The radiation would permanently effect my parotid and salivary glands, so I would have to wear a fluoride night guard for the rest of my life.  I would also be at a much higher risk for developing thyroid problems, heart disease, or a secondary cancer!  For someone older, these risks aren't as great because they aren't going to be around for that much longer anyways.  But for someone like me who is most likely going to live for sixty or so more years, it's much much more likely that I will develop one or more of these problems in my lifetime.  I definitely do not want to increase my chances of getting a secondary cancer, but at the same time, I don't want my Hodgkin's to come back!  Please pray for my family and I as we make this decision.  Please pray that the Lord will give us wisdom and discernment.  And please continue to pray that my chemotherapy goes well and that my side effects are minimal.  Thanks for everything! Much love!!

xoxo

Lauren

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust Him.  For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease.  He will cover you with His feathers.  He will shelter you with His wings.  His faithful promises are your armor and protection."

- Psalm 91:1-4